Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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