Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
