i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
