2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
