Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
