Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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