I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
