grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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