So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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