Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
last night I used snow as a chaser
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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