I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
