seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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