drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
