think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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