I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
