why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
