I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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