so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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