I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
