Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
