She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
