There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
