Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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