you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think my vagina is haunted
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
