OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
