it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You were trust falling into bushes
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
