just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize