we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
