dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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