sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
