can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
