This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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