How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
