I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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