I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
