Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
