pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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