So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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