....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize