i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sorry about my life...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
