On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
