Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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