i jhust puked up my retainher.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
