and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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