my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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