i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
