Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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