If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
