Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
