her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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