Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we have officially lost it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize