Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
