I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
