Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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