Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
