She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
