I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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