first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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