Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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