i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
