When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
