$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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