we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
