did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The ass gains better be worth it
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