don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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