I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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