I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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