I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
