i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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